


Scars: Loki x Reader

by warriorchip



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Depression, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Protective Thor (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warriorchip/pseuds/warriorchip
Summary: She was left at age five. Left to defend herself without any help. So she did. She took on the life of secrecy and theft. It was an easy job for a four year old, bit quite physically tasking.She grew up fighting for herself on the streets of Asgard. As she got older, the king's soldiers began keeping a wary eye on her. They suspected she had been steeling, but could never catch her in her act.Choices were made that left her running for her life and fighting to survive the cruel realms.Join [Y/N] as she fights for her life, leaving the little she has to stay safe. Will she succeed? Will she find someone worth giving herself up for? Someone who can make her know her worth?**************"You're broken, too?" She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from his prying eyes."Maybe." Her [E/C] slid up to meet his green eyes. He was vulnerable in that single moment. Enough for her to see something other than what everyone told her to see.I don't own any of the marvel characters. That right belongs to Stan Lee and MARVEL.DISCLAIMER: There will be a bit of self harm. So, if this bothers you, I have warned you.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

[Y/N]'s parents waited until their young daughter was old enough to remember them leaving her. They didn't like her from the beginning. They didn't understand how they ended up with such a mistake. On top of that, she didn't even look like either of them with her [E/C] eyes and slim figure. And she had a nasty power neither of them wanted or tried to control.

They wanted a boy but didn't get one and hated the gods for it. They wished they could confront Odin himself and dump the baby off, but Odin didn't like them very much, leaving them with the option of torturing her until they could let her go. And that is exactly what they did.

18 Years Ago~~

_The young girl was born into one of the most prestigious families in all of Asgard. Granted, this family did all they could to cheat their way to the top, but, having the little girl, was a most grave mistake. It would make all of their schemes and transgressions come into the light. More importantly, Mr. and Mrs. Gunnarsen could lose their place at the Asgardian table. Something they could not lose._

_So, they decided to keep the young girl a secret. They locked her in the dungeons of their large home on the outskirts of the town. They locked her away with their multiple means of cheating. Furthermore, they locked their only daughter away in the mucky, dirty, and windowless dungeon filled with torture machines of any kind imaginable and unimaginable._

_At age three, [Y/N]'s parents abused her. They tortured the poor three year old with all of their menacing torture mechanisms. For an entire year, they abused her to any means beyond imaginable._

_Six months after [Y/N]'s fifth birthday, they left her out on the streets of Asgard and locked all the gates to their home. But they didn't know [Y/N] was so glad she could be free of the sociopaths. That she didn't have to worry about her next punishment for breathing. She was so glad she could breathe the fresh air outside of her treacherous home._

_But, there was the fact she didn't know what was out here, being a five year old and all._

_Most watched as the sickeningly slim five year old walked the empty streets of Asgard at an ungodly hour of the night. One woman made the attempt to approach the young girl. But when the woman saw the little girl's face, she stumbled back in horror. This five year old had a deformed face, with swollen areas and bruises everywhere. Her clothing was in tatters and fresh wounds stuck out wherever they could. Black and purple bruises marred the little girl's skin, leaving no room for any sign of normal skin color. The woman ran back inside of her home terrified, leaving the five year old wondering why the woman ran away._

_At six years old, most of the deformation had left her skin, but the scars were evident as ever. Some bruises had insisted on staying put, leaving her to cover everything up to her chin, ankles, and wrists because she knew all the scars and bruises on her skin were disgusting. Black was the color she confided in most. A simple long-sleeved shirt and long black pants always did the job. This attire was slightly big on her, but she didn't complain, seeing as she did steal it._

_One early morning, [Y/N] ran through the already crowded streets and snagged an apple and a loaf of bread. She sprinted away and hid in the darkness of an alley. Her small form hid easily behind the barrels filled to the brim with wine. [Y/N] slowed her breathing and closed her eyes, placing her head against the barrel behind her._

Age 7~~

_[Y/N] met a blacked haired little boy the same age as her. She would ditch stealing food for the day if she spotted him nearby._

_Once, she surprised him by jumping on his back next to the river. "Loki!" She squealed and pressed her dirty face against his perfectly clean and pale cheek and hugged him from behind. "I brought you bread!" She remembered and shot off his back and ran in front of him, tripping into the river and falling face first into the cool water, rushing to her face at unbelievable speeds. She shot out of the river, coughing and sputtering. Loki rolled onto his back and broke out into obnoxious laughs. [Y/N] coughed repeatedly and plopped down on the grass next to her laughing friend. "I brought you bread." She grumbled. A pink blush covering her face form embarrassment. "And now it's all soaked!" She groaned and placed the soggy loaf next to her. "I'm sorry, Loki."_

_From what [Y/N] knew, Loki was a normal kid who lived in the large town but on the opposite side from her. Someone she could truly depend on to be her friend. Everyone else left her. But he didn't. He sat next to her and listened to all the time she almost got caught when stealing food. How her parents left her on the empty streets of Asgard in the middle of the night. She showed him her scars. Only the ones on her arms, but Loki figured there were many more. And she would listen when he would tell her about all the struggles at home. How his brother got all the glory even if it was Loki doing the good. How he wished he could run away for a little bit_.

Age 11~~

_"I am the prince." [Y/N] stopped in her tracks. They had been walking for hours now through the paths meant for the horses in the darker parts of the woods. She knew her feet were beginning to blister from her lack of shoes as she walked on the rocky path._

_"What?" [Y/N] barely whispered out. She looked at his stiff back with wide [E/C] eyes. "You cannot be serious." She breathed out._

_"I am the God of Lies. What did you actually expect?" He spat and turned around to face [Y/N]. "Did you_ rea _lly think I would be your friend?" [Y/N] watched him with furrowed eyebrows and [E/C] eyes brimming with tears. "You, of all people?_ _A pathetic mortal? One who couldn't even make her parents proud? You thought I could ever be friends with you?" She bit her lip and stepped back._

_"Please. Do not do this, Loki." Tears hit her cold cheeks and froze there on her rosy cheeks. "Don't leave me like they all did." She could hear the hum of the energy building up around her. It was brushing against her fingertips and blowing through her hair. Sparks erupted as the friction of her fingers against the tense energy snapped. Loki blinked and hatred filled his vibrant eyes._

_"I am leaving you like everyone else. I'm the God of Mischief. What can I say?" Loki smirked. A cloud of green and silver wrapped around him and took him away, leaving [Y/N] alone with the tensing energy_. Alone. Again. _She walked backwards, still looking at the space Loki just occupied, and walked away toward her home in the garbage filled alleys, energy tensing and building and electrocuting until she fell onto her knees, sending an invisible force through the forest. It left the trees around her naked, some had even fallen over._

_She toppled over onto her side and cried, letting the salty tears wet her already soaked cheeks. With every beat of her heart, a pulse of energy flew out around her, dying out until she fell asleep in the forest._

Age 15~~

_[Y/N] smiled widely as she evaded another market vendor. Her brown hair flew behind her as she fought against the wind. Not that she minded the wind at all. Her black tight fitting clothing made running quite difficult on hot days like these. But [Y/N] continued to run. She had a job to get to after all._

_She slowed her pace while she finished her apple as she approached her client's home. [Y/N] knocked on the door and looked around as she waited for the person to open the door. The door swung open and a man clad in village attire stood in the doorway. He had short black hair and a small amount of stubble along his jaw. He was a man in his early 20s._

_He pulled her inside by her elbow, making [Y/N] flinch involuntarily. She pulled out of his grasp easily the second they were inside. She closed the door and stood against it. Small spaces scared the living daylights out of her, and this man's home never had windows open. Ever. "How many did you kill?" His deep voice rang out in the small home._

_"As many as I could at the time. No telling how many that was, but enough to bring the All-Father's attention to the situation." The man nodded with a devious smile on his lips. "I need my pay, sir." [Y/N] held out her hand with her palm up. He walked up to her and grabbed her wrist._

_"Let's not be too hasty." He snarled. [Y/N] broke out of his hold and opened the door slightly. "Fine." He groaned and handed her the money. [Y/N] quickly got out of the house and ran back to her small cardboard home. She smiled widely as she weighed the coins in the small pouch._

_Palace guards watched her suspiciously as they passed her alley. They knew she stole, but they didn't have any evidence to take her in to Odin._

Age 17~~

_"I need your help." [Y/N] sighed, rolling her eyes, and turned to the man standing in her alley. She rose a brow at him, looking over him. His black cloak covered everything, including his face, giving her nothing to judge this character on._

_"What exactly?" She rested against one of the walls but stayed turned to the man in black. She crossed her arms and took a deep breath._

_"The king. I want him gone." [Y/N] chuckled at that and stepped off the wall. She looked up into the night sky, admiring the stars and constellations. "How much?" [Y/N] heard the jingling off coins and turned toward him._

_"If I agree, I need 100 solars right here, on the spot and 200 lunars when I finish. This will be no easy task. Do we have a deal?" The man handed her a sack of 100 solars. "Thank you. It should be done in a fortnight." The man walked away and [Y/N] smugly smirked at the bag of coins in her palm. This would be fun. Or so she thought........_


	2. Chapter 2

_[Y/N] took the pouch of soalrs and walked into the busy marketplace. Even though it was early in the morning, merchants were already out and had their stands up. Women and children walked the streets, looking for food to have for supper that night and maybe a few nights after. [Y/N] wove easily and swiftly through the oncoming crowd. She stopped at a fabric stand and picked black and [F/C] fabrics. She looked up at the merchant. He looked at her warily. She put on a fake smile and held the fabric close to her chest. "Good morning, sir." His eyebrow rose and she place the fabric back on the stand. "Can I let you in on a little secret?" She said seductively, leaning in to whisper in his ear. She slipped the black and [F/C] fabric behind her back and into her bag. "You look so very attractive today." She leaned back and pressed a feather light kiss to his cheek before walking away. She smirked and wove back through the crowd. Maybe she wouldn't have to use her money after all._

_"HEY! Get her! She stole from me." [Y/N] smirked and stepped up to another stand, masking her smirk with a bright and cheerful smile. She pulled the fabric out of her bag and held it out to the woman in front of her. String with numbers on it, scissors, and needles were attached to the older woman's belt around her waist, holding up the multi-fabric skirt that ran down to her knees. Worn glasses held the old woman's gray hair back._

_"Could you get my measurements and craft a one-piece, please? I need it by dark." The older woman nodded and grabbed the fabric from [Y/N]. "Thank you, Ma'am." The woman ushered [Y/N] to the back. She took a wary glance around the street before following the old woman behind the curtain in the back of the stand._

_***************************_

_[Y/N] walked briskly through the empty streets lined with market stands. She hated the dark, and the things behind large or small objects that could jump out at her from inside deep alleys._

_[Y/N] picked up her pace and stood at the stand breathlessly panted. "Good evening, ma'am." [Y/N] addressed the older woman standing at the stand. The old woman went behind the curtain and came back with her one-piece. She held out the material to [Y/N]. She grabbed the clothing hastily and shuffled through the pouch filled with solars. She handed the woman the coins she owed. The coins hit her palm with small taps as they bumped against each other. [Y/N] quickly turned on her heel and hurriedly made her way back to her home in the empty alley towards the end of the street._

_Her [E/C] eyes darted around the dark and empty streets, looking for anything that could possibly hurt her or worse. Something about the dark both scared her and relaxed her._

_Her thoughts took a drive through memory lane as she remembered hiding out in the empty streets with Loki when they were both young. She wondered what he was doing now. But, as always, bitter rage rose through and clouded her right state of mind. He left her just like everyone else did, even when she told him all her secrets. He was just as horrible as everyone else, apparently. But she wasn't surprised that he left. What was there for him to stay anyway? She wasn't worth his time. Even before she knew his heritage, she knew he deserved much more than her._

_She wasn't good enough. She knew that. She would never be good enough. Who could possibly want to stay her friend after all the mistakes she's made. Tears spilled over onto her cheeks. Oh, how she hated herself. What had she done? What made everyone disgusted of her? Why wasn't she good enough._

_She slid into her alley with a small side step and plopped down on the pile of rags, or, (better known to her), her bed. She sighed in relief, her arms splayed out all around her and the clothing held in a tight bundle in her right hand. She closed her eyes with a strained smile on her lips._

_*************************_

_[Y/N] woke with a start. Heart pounding and breathing erratic. Another nightmare. She ran an unsteady hand through her hair and lets out a shaky breath. She closed her eyes and snapped them open again, looking around her anything. Maybe she was looking for something from within the nightmare. She gripped her hair tightly and shook slightly, terror running through her veins._

_She wanted to get rid of the nightmares. But of course she didn't know how. She hadn't known how for as long as she could remember. So she never got much sleep if any, but tonight she needed it. However, she could not fall back asleep, and if she did, night terrors woke her up moments later._

_Needless to say, [Y/N] did not get much sleep._

_However, [Y/N] made sure to sleep in as late as possible to be able to have energy when she broke into the castle later that night. She woke up about mid-day and slipped on her new clothing. From the waist up, black long sleeves ran down to the middle of her palms with [F/C] spirals curving up to her shoulders. The turtle neck had jagged [F/C] lines around it. The torso had a zipper that ran quarter way and small [F/C] designs covering to tie in with the designs on the arms and neck. From the waist down, long, black pants ran down to her ankles with [F/C] designs tying in with the designs on the torso. The pants were tight enough as to not make her job more difficult, but also not too tight._

_[Y/N] pulled her [H/C] hair into a tight ponytail and walked into the crowded streets. She grabbed an apple off a stand and continued her weaving through the crowds as the yells of the merchant rang out, trying to stop her. She grabbed a couple knives off of a weaponry stand and continued her walk through the busy town. She slipped into the dense forest and made her way to a hill where she would eat her apple and watch the town. A place she could rest until her job called her._

_The stomping of hooves awoke her from her afternoon nap. She watched warily as the sound got louder and a black horse came into view. She laid back down and looked up into the trees. The horse galloped away from her, but not before time slowed. [Y/N] made eye contact with the green eyes of the rider. His eyebrows furrowed in slow motion as [Y/N] sat up in the same speed._

_"Loki." She breathed before he was gone and riding away. She spun around and watched as the horse trotted away._

_Loki's head snapped back to see the woman resting on her elbows, looking back at him. Both of their eyebrows were furrowed as they looked each other in the eye. He turned around and continued riding away._

_[Y/N] laid back down, placing her hands under her head as she looked up at the puffy clouds. The blades of green grass tickled the sides of her face as the cool breeze blew through the blades and through her long, [H/C] hair. The smell of grass and trees was all she could smell, laying almost buried in the long blades of grass, surrounded by large and looming trees. But, somehow, [Y/N] could still see the sky splattered with clouds._

_[Y/N] closed her eyes and listened to the chirping of birds and the sway of leaves as wind blew recklessly through the tree branches. She felt the tickle of the grass on her arms, even through the thick cloth on her forearms. She listened to her calm breathing and steady heartbeat. The adrenaline hasn't kicked in yet. She smiled to herself and fell asleep in the tall grass among the forest of trees bordering the east edge of the city._

_**********************_   
  


_[Y/N]'s eyes flickered open then closed as she tried to fight her way out of the nasty dream that was not freeing itself from the darkness of her eyelids. Finally, she shot up off of the grass and looked around her frantically. [E/C] eyes scanned the area around her as her breathing finally began to slow down. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, calming herself to try and stop the tense air that was begging to escape her tight hold._

_The energy around her began to dissipate as [Y/N]'s heartbeat and breathing slowed. Just a nightmare, [Y/N]. Just a nightmare. [Y/N] opened her eyes and looked around the dark forest one last time before heading toward the palace with the help of the dark night and shadows of the trees to hide her._

_She ran silently and quickly through the dark woods; the moon as her only light. Her long, [H/C] hair flew gracefully behind her as wind blew against her face. But, it felt nice. The cool light air brushing against her skin and sliding off as if like rain but without the mark of its passing._

_She hid behind the wall of the stables outside of the palace and listened for the footsteps of any guard or horse caretaker. The light from inside the barn, illuminated the path in front of the open doors. The moon brightly accentuated all the small dips and bends of the grassy terrain surrounding the palace. Including, [Y/N]. Her shadow splayed itself across the barn wall, but, luckily, she was not caught as she crept into the empty stables. She brushed her fingers across the noses of the horses as she passed them. Her shoes made quiet taps as she walked through the wooden floored barn._

_[Y/N] smiled at each of the animals and pulled a few apples out of the basket on the floor. She handed an apple to a black stallion who hummed in response as he ate the apple with a large crunch. [Y/N]'s lip twitched upward in satisfaction at the horse's appreciation of the sweet treat._

_She turned away and continued through the barn to the doors that would open up to the path that lead directly to the palace. She pushed open the heavy oak doors and walked quietly across the stone path to the palace._

_The cold breeze brushed across her skin and blew her brown hair around her face. She could hear the whispers of the wind as it spread gossip along through the leaves of high and mighty trees who were reeling away, trying to avoid the gossip they were bound to hear._

_[Y/N] hid behind a column in the main entrance of the palace. She silently made her way to the king's chambers. He had to be sleeping by this point. Everyone knew he had a coronation to plan the next morning. That fact alone made this night the perfect night to kill the All-Father._

_She crept through the barely lit and heavily guarded halls of the palace. Each guard had thrown a glance at her at least once, but none of them had seen her. Not even one.Her heartbeat grew in steady nervousness as their eyes seemed to not even notice her._

_She hid behind a pillar when one had almost found her dark figure hiding in the shadows. She rushed out as soon as the guard was gone and ran down the emptying corridors. She stopped as she came to a corner that turned right to the king's chambers. Guards were inevitably going to be there. She pulled out two knives and swung them at the guards, landing them in both of their necks. she walked past them and gently opened the large doors, as to not make a sound._

_She slid through the small space and hid in the darkness of the room. She softly walked to the king's side of the bed and looked at his sleeping figure._ Such a pity. _She lifted up a knife and stabbed it through the king's chest. To [Y/N]'s surprise the king shimmered a golden green and disappeared, leaving just the knife on the golden sheets._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y’all didn’t figure it out:  
> [Y/N]= your name  
> [H/C]= hair color  
> [E/C]= eye color  
> [H/L]= hair length (I think I’m just gonna make the hair length non negotiable)  
> I think that’s it! Thanks for reading btw! Hope you’re enjoying and I’m sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

_Lights flickered on and revealed a stunned [Y/N] standing frozen next to the king's bed._ This should've worked. Who messed with my plan?

_[Y/N] spun around and met the smirks and disapproving frowns of the royal family. She shuddered and faked a smile while holding her hands behind her back, clutching a dagger in her right hand. "Cool evening, isn't it, your royal highnesses." She watched each of the royals as they tensed slightly. "It was quite chilly when I made my way over here. You should really hire more...... proffesional guards, Odin." Her [E/C] eyes snapped to the king as if accusing him of treason. "I must say, it was easy to just walk right into your palace. Can't say I had a challenge at all." She smirked and walked away from the large bed._

_She stepped nearer to the royal family, but they stood tall. "Cocky, I see. Just like Loki. Not surprised." She mumbled the last part. "Frigga." Odin stiffened as [Y/N] nodded her head at the queen. The queen didn't move. "Thor." Her eyes slid across the line of royals to the God of Thunder. She nodded to him as well. "Loki." Her [E/C] eyes, filled with unseen hatred, snapped to his vibrant green ones. He smirked and tilted his head even higher. "Still looking for approval, I see." She spat as she turned away from him. He took a step forward, with rage bubbling in his green eyes, his fists clenched tightly. Thor threw out his arm and stopped his brother from making a mistake. "Smart choice, Son of Odin, he wouldn't have lived to see another day if he got too close. His rage wouold have blinded him." She sneered as she made eye contact with the Silver Tongue. His eyes narrowed at her._ You will never belong. Not even with me. _His voice rang out loudly in her head._ No one will love you. Or even like you. Your own parents hated you. _She blocked out his voice. His jaw tensed and his eyes narrowed even more. "Keep your magic under control, will you?" She shot a glare at him._

_"My magic is under control, mortal." He sneered. [Y/N] bit back a snarky remark and turned her attention to the balcony next to her. The curtains blew towards her as a cool breeze flew through the room. She took a deep breath of the fresh air coming through the balcony._

_"Guards!" Odin shouted. [Y/N] turned momentarily to him and looked him up and down. He was tense, very tense. His right hand gripped the staff tightly, making his knuckles white. His forehead was beaded with sweat. His eyebrows were furrowed with nervous wrinkles around them. He's worried. [Y/N] smirked and walked right up to the king. She leaned foreward so her lips were next to his ear. She placed the tip of the blade to his throat every so slightly._

_"I wouldn't advise that, Odin. You won't catch me, but you can try." [Y/N] snapped back to a straight posture, slipping the dagger back behind her and took a glance at the royal family. "Farewell, your highnesses. It was so lovely to see you one last time." Mischief glowed bright in her eyes as a smirk made a side of her lips quirk upwards. "I do wish we could see each other again, but that would be unwise." Her back was turned to the balcony as she stepped onto the ledge of the rail surrounding the balcony. She stepped backwards and fell to the ground beneath the balcony. A searing pain shot up her ankle. She hissed out in pain, but got up off of the ground._

_She ran through the empty streets and panted as she got to the edge of the forest. She slid her dagger back into its place in her suit and stepped into the large wood._ There should be a realm breach somewhere around here. _She shot through the dense wood and stopped as the sound of rushing water hit her ears._ Here. _She jogged towards the small pond that had a trickling stream running into it. Her breath was the only sound heard besides her thoughts screaming at her to hurry. But [Y/N] swore her heartbeat could be heard for miles.  
_

_She panted and took a deep breath. She dove straight through the middle of the lake. The splash was loud but unheard through her clogged ears. Bubbles slipped past her nose as she let part of her breath out. She swam deep, watching as the water around her darkened. The cold water was begining to freeze her through the fabric of her outfit. But she pushed through. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her teeth from chattering. She looked in front of her and saw the blue lake beginning to lighten. Her heartbeat slowed and her face softened at the thought of finally coming to safety. But that didn't stop her from looking behind repeatedly for anything or anyone coming— not that there was anyone._

_  
Her [H/C] broke the surface of the water, and [Y/N] took a large intake of breath. She swam to the lake's edge and pulled herself onto the rocky ground. The sharp and cold rocks cut the palms of her hands, but she didn't care; she was finally free and out of reach from the royal family. [Y/N] layed on her back with her feet still dangling in the cool water._

_Her breath was the only thing heard around her. Her eyes were closed as she controlled her breathing. She opened her [E/C] eyes and looked around the dark space. From what she could see, she was in a cavern. She sat up and pulled the rest of her body out of the cool water and tried to stand up but slipped and hit her head against a jagged rock. She hissed out and placed a hand against the back of her head. A warm liquid coated her fingertips. A grunt escaped her lips._ _She ripped some cloth from her suit and tied it around her head to stop the bleeding.  
_

_She pushed herself off the ground and_ _grasped_ _at_ _the wall next to her. She held on the wall for support as she made her way through the cavern. A bright light made her squint her eyes. She squeezed through a small opening in the cavern. She broke through and stumbled slightly at the loss of stability that the walls of the cavern gave her._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is a work of fiction. This does not necessarily line up with the MARVEL movies because there was no mention of anything in this chapter (or any after). I would not be aware if this were to line up to Norse Mythology. This in no way is to be taken as facts. Please do not assume that as you read this chapter. Or the chapters after this*

Loki

Age 11~~~

_"Father please! Do not make me destroy our friendship. I cannot lose that!" Loki shouted desperately at his unnamused father. But Odin paid him no interest and turned to the blonde boy who had told him of Loki's interaction with the child who had no home or family. The girl who stole from everyone. Thor had caught the two laughing and playing near the river's edge and decided to tell Odin.  
_

_"Thor, son, thank you for telling me of your bother's misbehavior. You shall be awarded for your actions. As for **you**!" Odin's voice rose as his eye turned to steel when it landed on Loki. "You will dispose of your friendship with the girl, and you will never talk to her again. You will not interact with a person of lesser value than us. Do you understand?!" Odin barked at the young boy. Loki's green eyes filled with hatred._

_"She is worth so much more than you and Thor combined! She is not of lesser value--"_

_"_ **Yes. She. Is.** _" Odin's disapproving voice left no room for discussion. "She is of no worth to anyone in this house. We will speak no more of this._ _Do. You. Understand_ _?" Loki stared down his father with hatred burning bright in his eyes. " **Do. You. Understand?** " Odin's staff pounded against the marble flooring, making Loki flinch. "Do not! speak of this again! to me. Are we clear?" Loki nodded slowly with disgust on his features. "You are dismissed." Odin's voice boomed, making Loki jump slightly._

_He turned quickly around and walked swiftly toward his chambers. He slipped into his room and shut the door quietly. A tear slipped down his cheek and he ran to his bed, threw himself into the pillow and screamed into it. He fell asleep from the exhaustion of screaming into his pillow._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Did you really think I would be your friend? You of all people? A pathetic mortal compared to me, a god?" After those words, everything became a blur, and all he could remember was not being able to control anything he said. And the look on her face. The look of  
abandonment, but he knew it was not a new look. The look of disappointment but not surprise. And then he left her there, in middle of the forest, with no one. That's what threw him off. Threw him over the edge. To the point that he hated himself. Made him not comfortable in his own body. Made him see everything happen as if he wasn't even there and it was just a terrible movie playing out in front of him. A movie that seemed to hate him almost as much as he hated himself._

_And that sharp glass of the mirror from his repeated pounding on it looked not so sharp and not so painful because what could he actually control by this point? If this movie was already playing, then it couldn’t get any worse, could it?_

_He could feel the blood on his knuckles. He hated the fact it was an act he made that felt like he didn't make it, but someone else did. It was like he couldn't control anything but this one opportunity to control pain while he was in control. He picked up the glass of the mirror and drew it across the pale skin of his inner wrist. The blood trickling down his arm was so soothing as it ran down his arm and pooled on the tiled flooring in the bathroom. Another line drawn with the sharp glass, but it didn't hurt._ A little deeper, maybe? _He pushed the glass further in the third time. A strained smile hit the side of his lip as he felt the glass._ Finally.

14~~

 _It was late. No one was awake. The streets were dark and empty. The sky was filled with bright stars and planets. The night air was cool and crisp, making Loki sigh in content. His footsteps were quiet even in the empty city streets. His black hair flew softly into his face, leaving him to push it out of the way with his palm. His green eyes were raw with emotions. Out there, he didn't have to pretend. Especially because no one was around or awake to even notice his pressence outside their homes. But he wouldn't dare scream his emotions out into the night. He really didn't want to wake the entire realm to wake up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He ignored his thoughts and focused on the peacfulness of the night. He leaned his head back and looked up at the stars. His green eyes reflected the gorgeousness of the sky. His black long-sleeved shirt hugged his torso perfectly. his green and silver pants were loose and hung low on his waist. Loki rolled his eyes as the hair did not quit pestering his face. He formed a green hair band and tied his hair back into a bun. He sighed in relief and looked around the empty streets. His movements were slow and relaxed. Nothing like the sharp and calculated movements of the prince of Asgard. His ears perked up as he heard the quiet screams of a girl. He walked cautiously in the direction of the noise. He stood in front of the dark alley and noticed the shaking figure sitting against the wall._ [Y/N] _. He took a step into the alley. "[Y/N]?" He watched the figure jump and move farther into the wall. The soft light of the moon lit up her features. She looked, to him, like a goddess whose beauty was unmatched by any god or goddess in the nine realms. But he could see the tears staining her cheeks. "Why are you crying?" He saw the dark cirlces under her eyes, the blood that flowed from her wrist, staining her leggings. His eyebrows crinkled together as worry overtook him. "Are you bleeding?" He watched her arm hide behind her side. He saw the hesitation on her face when she heard his voice. He stepped further into the alley and saw her eyes widen. She hiccuped and hit her head slightly on the wall behind her. He put his hands up in surrender. Her [E/C] eyes were hollow and filled with tears. Her body was trembling. He could feel the tense atmosphere around them. It felt as if it were going to break at any moment. Her hair was tattered and dirty. "When was the last time you took a shower?" His words seemed to go right past her ears.  
_

 _"What did they do to you, Loki?" Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper. His heart ached for her. She didn't sound anywhere close to well. He wanted to hold her, but he wasn't sure how. He realized there was nothing he could ever do for her that would benefit her. He knew he would only hurt her in the end. He didn't want that for her. He knew she couldn't like him in any way. Otherwise, she would lose everything, just like he had lost everything by being himself. His green eyes shot up as he heard uneven footsteps approach him. He watched with wary eyes as she approached him. He took half a step back, but forced himself to stay put. She reached her hand up to touch his face, but he flinched away. He realised in an instant he mistake he made._ No, it was not you. I am sorry I am screwed up and am afraid of everything. _He told himself.  
_

_"I'm sorry." She whispered. He watched the pained expression on her face get worse_ _as she pinched her eyes closed, but the second she opened her eyes again, the pain was gone. He looked down at her wrist and cringed when he saw the sleeve had slid up. He could see the scar that marked her beautiful skin. The dark, crimson mark that stood out on her tanned skin. He noticed the way it seemed to have just become a scar recently._

_"What happened to your wrist?" He bit his lip as his thoughts raced._ No. She wouldn't. Would she? _Her eyes got wide for half a second._

 _"I tripped." He could see the lie showcasing itself through her eyes. An amazing lie, really. But to him, it was so easy to detect. "The knife was just lying there; I tripped and it knicked me when I tried to catch myelf." He reached out with graceful and quick movements. In half a second, her wrist was held in the palm of his hand and her sleeve was rolled up to her elbow. "I'm sorry." Her [E/C] eyes glistened in the moonlight, but he knew it was mainly the tears. "I didn't mean to, but it felt so calming. Until the next day when I realised my mistake, but by that point I couldn't stop." He held his breath and reached down to brush the tear off her cheek. His hand shook as it wiped the tear off her cheek. His eyes darted to hers when he saw her flinch at his touch. His heart ached to comfort her, but he didn't know how. So he kept silent. He watched silently as she gripped his wrist in return._ My turn already? Please don't. you do not want to see that. _But he didn't stop her as she slipped the green rabric up his arm. She kept eye contact with him then looked down at his wriists._ I'm sorry. I didn't mean to either. _"What happened."_ I don't know. It was an accident. I couldn't stop. _  
_

_"Stop. You have no right to touch me."_ No, that's not--. _"You are not worth hearing anything I have to say. Nothing!"_ **No!!! Stop. Please.** I don't mean that, [Y/N]. I'm so sorry. _He screamed within his own head. "What makes you think you can touch me and talk to me as if you are my equal." He could see the understanding in her eyes. She knew he dind't mean it, but it still hurt her; he could see that. And the only reason she understood was because his wrist was still in her hands. Her fingres were still roaming over the bumps on his porcelain skin. "You can't make this situation better." He spat at her. "Just like you can't make anything better." She looked into his green eyes. Her heart borke seeing the fear and hatred in his eyes. But he covered it. And she couldn't find it as much as she searched his eyes for it. "You only ruin things and leave them to be fixed on their own. Just like our friendship." He knew he crossed the line. He shouoldn't have said that. There was no excuse as to why he needed to say that. He didn't even want to say that. She dropped his wrist and looked down at the ground between their feet._

_"I'm sorry, Loki." Her voice wavered. He looked down at her with a worried expression. "I think it's time you leave. Googbye, Loki."_

_15~~_

_His wrists were marked to the point of no escape whenever he wore anything less than long-sleeved attire. His legs had the beginning of some that he had started not too long before his fifteenth birthday. He had lost so much. He lost his best friend, his somewhat trusted brother, and his loving mother. Now, sleep wasn't even an escape from the reality of no one caring and no one noticing everything was wrong. It wasn't an escape anymore from the numbness that he couldn't stop spreading. Even people's disgusted stares did nothing to him. He would sneer at them and laugh at their misfortune. He would pick up the mask of not caring every morning when he woke up. He fixed the broken walls that surrounded his heart. The ones that collapsed half way through the night. He filled the hollowness of his eyes with misleading peace and calmness._

_17~~_

_This was it. It was going to end that day. But it didn't. [Y/N] came into the palace. He saw her through his bathroom window from his position in the bath tub with the blade in his palm. It felt so normal to have in his hand. A comfort he knew wasn't right. He didn't tell Odin of her presence, but he knew Frigga would soon find out of her presence and come find him, so he slowly got out of the bath and put on his 'normal' armor. He put the blade in the back of his armor and stood on his balcony, waiting for his mother to enter. He made sure to keep a tight hold on his thoughts. He heard the soft footsteps of his mother and tensed slightly but made his shoulders drop into a relaxed state before she entered. He turned to her when she entered and gave her a tight smile. "Hello, Mother. What shall we do to save Father this time?"_

_She smiled softly at her son and nodded her head for him to follow. They cast an illusion on Odin's bed and watched as the woman came into the room and brought a dagger down on his body, but what caught them off guard, was the tear that slid down her cheek. The tear she didn't seem to notice. But she brushed it away as if out of reflex. The lights switched on and they were across the room, behind her. Her shoulders tensed momentarily, but only Loki seemed to notice the wobble in her steps as she turned around to face them. She smiled a fake smile and greeted each of them with fake kindness until she made her way to Loki. He could hear the underlying hatred in her voice. But he wasn't upset about it because she had every right to angry at him. But he had to act like the stupid, immature, little brother he was, so he lashed out and tried to get at her, even if he didn't mean any of the things he said to her. But he said them because he had to._

_Another reason why that day was going to be the day. He wouldn't have to worry about being who everyone wanted him to be. Why couldn't he be himself? This whole faking thing was killing him. But he couldn't stop now. He was in too deep. It was go out soon or be stuck faking for the rest of his life. His green eyes absently follow [Y/N] as she walked to the balcony and jumped over the edge. He pushed past his brother's arm and ran to the edge of the balcony. He hit the railing so hard, he tasted bile in the back of his throat. His black hair fell to covering his face. He saw her laying on the ground for a split second before she shot back up and ran into the woods. He knew what she was doing. She was running away from Asgard, and he wanted so badly to go with her. Wanted to escape the horrid reality he lived in. To escape the hatred that surrounded him and destroyed his image of himself. To escape the disgusted expressions of everyone when they took one look at the hopeless prince of Asgard. But they didn't dare help him. Why would they? It was more entertaining to watch him suffer._

_So, let the poor boy suffer. Let him crumble from his own thoughts. Let his own hatred of himself kill him. A tear slipped down his cheek. He wiped it quickly away and turned around with a look of hatred and disgust written bright across his face. His family assumed it was a hatred for the girl that escaped, but so wrong they were. He stomped out of the room and hid in his room. His knees buckled the second the heavy door closed, and he sat on his knees for a while. His shoulders shook with silent tears, until he crawled into a corner and pulled his knees tight to his chest. He couldn't breathe. He felt as though he was suffocating, but it wasn't a new feeling. He shut his eyes tight while tears streamed down his cheeks and soaked through the fabric of his leg attire. His breathing was rapid if he breathed at all.  
_

_His heart ached to be with the girl that had the guts to run to another realm. Oh, how he wished he could. He could start over. He wouldn't have to pretend. He screamed out into the darkness of his room and cried into his arms. He was done. He couldn't do this anymore. His sobs echoed in the large room, but a noise dampener wrapped around his room to keep his raw character from reaching the outside._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry for al the confusion. I figured it out. Thank you for letting me know!

Age 14~~

[Y/N]

Panic surged through her entire body. Her lungs couldn't function properly, so breathing was an impossibility at the time. She slid down the wall of her alley and pulled her knees tight to her chest, while trying at the same time to get oxygen into her lungs so she could breath. 

Tears spilled down her cheeks. The warm tears were a stark contrast to her cold cheeks. Her glossy [E/C] eyes were wide with fear and panic. 

Why does everyone hate me? What did I do? Why can't I be good enough. Why can't I be loved. Why am I so unlovable. Why am I not worth anyone's time. Why can't I be normal. Why do I have to fight for my survival? Why am I not smart enough, or pretty enough, or good enough to have anyone notice me?

Her breathing was returning to normal. She crawled over to her knife. She placed the tip on her wrist and drew it across her skin. The new gash was being welcomed among the family of old scars. 

She didn't wince or flinch when the skin separated. She just watched lifelessly as the blood ran out of the cut. 

She thought, "I deserve this. I deserve this hurt. I'm not worth their time. I'm a bad person for thinking I was ever worth their time. I'm a terrible person for thinking I could ever be worth their acceptance. I'm terrible for thinking it's okay to be me. It's not okay. Why are you so stupid, [Y/N]? You brought all this hatred on yourself for not being who they wanted you to be." Tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. But it wasn't noticeable because of the pouring rain. 

The energy around her shifted and made chemical reactions in the clouds, creating strikes of lightning around the town. 

The knife dug a little too deep, and [Y/N] panicked. She didn't mean for the blade to go that deep. She dropped the knife and grabbed a wet cloth that had been sitting next to her for this exact situation. 

Before she placed the cloth on her arm, she watched as the blood ran down her arm and made a puddle next to her. How satisfying. She smiled and almost passed out from lack of blood before she finally placed the cloth on her wrist.

~~~~~~~~~

She gripped her head in her hands and screamed with her eyes tightly closed. She wanted the thoughts in her head to go away! Tears ran down her cheeks, but she kept screaming. She couldn't get the thoughts to go away. "Go. AWAY!" She cried. "Go away, go away, go away, go away." She sobbed. "Please." She gripped her head tighter and hid inside of herself.

She felt as if she was cornered within her own mind, and there was the monster of her thoughts growling above her. She sat in the corner of her mind with her hands over her ears and her eyes clamped shut. Her own voice in her mind came out as a whimper. "Leave me alone." She whispered. 

"You're not worth it. What part of you thinks you are? You are mean. You can't control your powers. You're ugly with those scars covering you. You aren't smart. You never went to school to even try to be smart. You were left by your parents, so what reason does anyone have to give you anything? You're not worth anything. Nothing. At. All. Never have been worth anything. Why do you think everyone leaves? There's no point for them to stay." 

Her tears streamed down her cheeks. The electricity around her crackled and snapped, creating sparks and jolts of electricity that ran up and down her arms. Her veins glowed as the electricity flowed through them. 

She gripped the roots of her hair tighter as her body shook from the electrical shock. Sobs racked her body and left her shaking even more than she already had been from the shock of the electricity. 

"[Y/N]?" Her [H/C] hair whipped around as her head shot up and out of her hands. The electrical charge around her began to build as the person standing in the alley stumbled farther in. [Y/N] backed away from him, but her back hit a wall way too soon. She gasped slightly, and her eyes went wide. Her hand slipped lightly over the knife next to her. Her fingers latched around the handle, but she kept it on the ground beside her. "Why are you crying?" Her breath hitched, and her eyebrows crinkled together. "[Y/N], are you bleeding?" He stepped closer. He didn't look well. His eyes were sunken in, and he looked so tired. He looked so defeated. He looked so ready to give up.

"What did they do to you, Loki?" Her voice came out broken- no, shattered. He looked down at himself and his shoulders seemed to cave inward. No, I'm not going to hurt you, Loki. It's alright. Her heart ached for him. Her fingers let go of the knife slowly and she stood up with the help of the wall. She stumbled toward him, but stood tall in front of him. Her hand went up to his face and lightly traced the prominent cheekbones. He flinched before her hand reached his face. "I'm sorry." Her hand flinched and she drew it back. 

He was afraid of her hurting him, but she thought he was too disgusted to want her to touch him. He wanted to reach out and grab her hand, put it on his cheek, but he couldn't. Physically couldn't. 

Her [E/C] eyes looked away from him and at the wall of the alley. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that earlier. You didn't need to see any of that. There's no excuse that I let my emotions get the best of me. I'm sorry." That's right. This is all your fault. If you had just stayed his friend, none of this would have happened. If you had just sucked it up and not have been such a baby, he wouldn't look like this, you wouldn't be the screwed up mistake that you are. Her eyes pinched closed quickly then they were back open right away. 

"Are you alright?" Loki's voice sounded just as broken as hers. It sounded as lost as the voice in her head that was giving its all. "What happened to your wrist." He swallowed thickly, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was. Please no. His thoughts rang repeatedly through his head. 

"I tripped." The lie slipped easily off her tongue, and he almost believed it. Almost. The way her [E/C] eyes glanced up at him and back at the wall gave her away. The lie was bright in her eyes for half a second. "The knife was sitting there and I accidentally tripped and nicked my wrist on it while trying to catch myself." He grabbed her wrist out of reflex and pulled the sleeve up to her elbow. A pink blush of embarrassment was bright on her cheeks. She looked down at the scars that decorated her delicate skin. "I'm sorry." She apologized for her mistake. For doing something she knew he wouldn't approve of. "I didn't mean to, but it felt so calming....... Until the next day when I realized my mistake. But I couldn't stop." Tears spilled down her already soaked cheeks. His hand reached up and brushed the tear away. Her eyes flinched closed, but she didn't move. "I'm sorry, Loki." His breath hitched when she flinched. Her [E/C] opended slowly and spotted the scars on the inside of his wrists. She gripped his hand and pulled it in front of her.

She slipped the dark clothing up his arms but kept her eyes on his. His green eyes were wide, but he didn't pull his arm away. His shoulders caved in, but his eyes darkened, making him look ready for a fight. "What happened?" [Y/N]'s voice was soft as she ran her fingers over the scars adorning the pale skin of his arm. 

His voice snapped suddenly. "Stop. You have no right to touch me." Her eyes ran up to meet his. She could see the fear that was barely evident in his vibrant eyes. He couldn't explain; she knew that. So she let him yell and scream at her because she knew that was all he could do at the moment. "You are not worth hearing anything I have to say. Nothing. What makes you think you can touch me and talk to me as if you were my equal?" The fear was growing brighter in his eyes. She pulled on a blank face and looked back at the scars on his wrist. Her delicate fingers ran over the bumps on his skin. "You can't make this situation better. Just like you can't make anything better. You only ruin things and leave them to be fixed on their own. Just like our friendship." Her grip on his hand didn't tighten or loosen. 

There were a few moments of pure silence, where only Loki's heavy breathing could be heard. "I'm sorry, Loki." She broke the silence and looked up at him. "I think it's time you leave." Her expression turned blank as she dropped his hand and stepped back. She pulled her sleeve down and wrapped her arms around her waist. Her shoulders caved inward, and she looked away from him. "I'm sorry. You didn't need to see any of that. I'm sure my life isn't anything compared to anything you've gone through. But, my advice? You'll be fine. Maybe not ok, but you'll survive because that's who you are. Find yourself somewhere. Even if that means you travel to different dimensions or planets to find yourself. Goodbye, Loki."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her heart pounded as she realised it had been too long since something bad had happened. And, frankly, good things had been happening. Loki had come back every night, and they would talk. They would talk about anything and everything. He told her about the scars and the reasons behind them. She told him about her scars and her reasons. They were open books to each other. 

This had gone on for three months. And now, at the beginning of the fourth month, she could feel something bad was going to happen. Nothing was every ok for this long. 

And she was right. 

There she was. 14 years old, sitting in a tree, looking at the clouds when the Asgardian "police" looked up at her from below. She looked down at them with a raised eyeborw and a frown on her lips. Her eyes darted between the two men until they rested on the man with her bag in his hand. Shoot. He opened the bag and flipped it over. Jewelry and food spilled out of the bag onto the ground in front of them. Her expression was blank as she watched the items fall out of the bag. Her eyes slowly slid up to meet the officer's eyes.

Her breathing was steady, but her heartbeat was the opposite. Her thoughts screamed at her to attack them and get away while she still could. "We need you to come with us, Miss Gunnarsen." How did they-? "Get out of the tree." Her expression remained stoic as she lowered herself from the tree. She stood with her back against the tree. "Step away from the tree." Her shoulders tensed, but she didn't move a muscle.

"Will my parents be there?" Her voice came out stubborn as she rose a brow and tucked her hands behind her back. The officers turned to each other. "They will be, won't they?" She scoffed and turned away to look around the forest around her. They stepped closer to her, making [Y/N] tense even more. The energy around her grew tense. It vibrated around her and made the guards in front of her look around confused. They could feel the change in the energy around them. 

Then, the energy tension stopped. She plastered on a fake smile. "Let us go, gentlemen." They looked at each other confused before snapping magic dampening handcuffs on her wrists that connected to the ones they put on her ankles after. She walked in front of them as the made their journey to the castle. "Are we conversing with Odin-- forgive me-- All-Father first?" She smirked as they both visibly tensed. 

"Indeed." One responded slowly. She nodded and entered the grand entrance of the palace. Her bare feet tapped quietly against the marble floor of the palace halls. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears, and her eyes darted across the hall, watching for any out-of-the-ordinary movements. Her breath stayed even, but it was difficult to keep it that way as she was having a mini panic attack. She closed her eyes tighlty before opening them again as they came before the doors for the throne room. Great. The two guards opened the door and followed her into the room. 

She stood tall in front of Odin and the other royals. It wasn't until a guard forcefully came up to her and pushed her onto a knee that she bowed. She gritted her teeth and waited for Odin to tell her she could stand. "Daughter of Melody and Ivar Gunnarsen, stand." [Y/N]'s [E/C] eyes glared muderously at the youngest brother standing a step below Odin and Frigga before they slowed traveled to Odin as he began to speak. "You are sentenced to a life-time in the dungeons for your countless accounts of stealing, treason, and murder." Her eyes darted momentarily to Loki. I have never...... "Get rid of her." Her eyes darted back to the king and she struggled against the holds of the soldiers holding her elbows. 

"You nasty little liar!" She shouted at Loki. She was done holding in her emotions. Anger was evident on her face. She couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing through her ears. She couldn't feel anything but the anger bubbling in her. Her face was hot with anger, and it was red as well. Her hair began to float upward as the energy around her tensed and made static in her hair. "How could you! I trusted you!" He looked down at her horrified. His cool demeanor lost at seeing her in such a state of raw anger. 

Her chest heaved up and down rapidly. Her fingernails began to cut the inside of her palms from the grip she had within her clenched fists. 

A loud ringing was in her ears, and the handcuffs burst. The metal shattered, cutting both guards. They lost their grip, leaving an angered [Y/N] standing before the royal family with snapping energy and electricity zipping around the entire room. 

"[Y/N]!!!!!" The tension dissipated, and the stacic in her hair was gone. [Y/N] turned slowly around with horror in her [E/C] eyes. Her fists clenched beside her. Loki watched as her body shook, but only he could see the way she barely shook. "We got rid of you for a reason, and this is how you treat us!" Her shoulders caved into themselves. Her head was down as she stared wide-eyed at her bare feet. "We're going home now." Loki watched as [Y/N] took half a step backwards. Her head turned to him, their eyes meeting for a split second. But in that split second, he saw the raw fear, the betrayl, the pain, the hollowness that was finally coming back to her eyes. She covered it up. She looked at him blankly before turning back to her parents and leaving with them. Her back straightened as she exited the throne room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Age 15--

Loki saw her with her feet dipped in the river they used to play in. He faltered in his steps and watched her kick around the water. "I know you are there." She turned to him. Her expression was blank. Dark bags were under her beautiful but dull [E/C] eyes. He could see the fading bruises on her cheeks and the scars that marked most of her skin. He saw the hollowness in her eyes, but he couldn't read her thoughts anymore. Her mind was blank was what he thought. But that wasn't the case. She had figured out how to hide her thoughts from everyone. How to stay closed off. "I have to go back home soon, so you might as well leave." She turned back to watching the river.

She felt nothing. She had not only learned how to hide her thoughts but how to block off her emotions as well. No angry outbursts or mental breakdowns halfway through dinner. Her heart had stopped pounding so rapidly and her breathing was slowed. She wasn't calm per say, but she was drowning. Drownign peacefully. She stood from the river, and Loki caught sight of the deformation of her sides as she leaned over to fix her pants. She quickly pulled her shirt down and turned to Loki with a bright smile and bright eyes. "I'm sorry, Loki. There was no reason for the way I treated you when you had all reasons to turn me in. I am so very sorry. I am going home, now. Farewell, Loki. Hope life treats you well." She turned on her heel, but Loki caught how quickly her smile dropped when she turned away from him. 

~~~~~~~~~

That night, she had found a way to escape her home. She stood in front of her dead parents laying on their bed; dark red blood pooling around both of them and staining their sheets. She looked down, with a blank expression, at the dripping blood from the knife in her hands. She disposed of their bodies the next morning and stayed in the home for three weeks. At week four, the soldiers of the palace came looking for the Gunnarsens, so [Y/N] had to leave. She stayed in another alley and created an energy barrier that distorted the image of the alley to look empty. 

She sat with her back against the dirty wall; the blank expression on her face contradicting with the terrorizing thoughts and screams echoing in her head. She stayed awake the entire night. Too afraid to fall asleep and witness her thoughts come to life.


	6. Chapter 6

Age 20~~

[Y/N] didn't know how, but she had stumbled into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Granted, she wan't a child, but the energy barrier aroung the school intrigued her. It was easy to get through but difficult to bypass the people within the grounds and the constant pounding in her head as she felt someone trying to break through. And it was beginning to hurt. She pinched the bridge of her nose and bit back a hiss. Her head was really pounding now. 

Her [E/C] eyes drifted toward the entrance of the school and spotted three burly men walking nonchalantly towards her. But she knew better than to believe that their stiff shoulders were just normal for them. She took a long glance at the school as her eyes swept over the campus. Guess I'll come back another time. She turned on her heel and walked down the gravel road to the closed gates. 

The black gates loomed over her, almost daring her to leave. She brought her gaze back down and grasped a metal bar in her hand. A shiver ran down her spine from the cold emmiting from the bars. She pushed then pulled but to no avail. The gate's locked. She groaned and looked down to her right and left, looking for another exit. She huffed in annotance at the realization that she would have to climb over. Oh, how she hates climbing. 

She wrapped both of her hands around the bars and, with a deep breath, pulled herself up. She sat on the top with her legs dangling on either side of the gate. She inwardly groaned as she heard footsteps aproach her. She closed her eyes tight and leaned her head back. Can this day get any worse? She could either leave right now and have no trouble, or she could be very irritating and provoke them. Iritation is so much more fun. 

"Please come down, ma'am." The man in the middle forced a polite smile on his lips. He had dark bown hair and a beard that didn't quite reach his chin, which, in her opinion, looked obnoxioulsy stupid. And a perfect topic to start on.

"Is it just impossible for you to grown hair on your chin?" She tilted her head to the sied in mock innocence; hair slipping of her shoulder in the process. He looked completely perplexed and taken aback. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly. She took this as an opportunity to continue, "Because, quite honestly, you look stupid." She rocked her feet back and forth. Her composure was on the verge of breaking when he nearly had steam coming out of his ears. Her eyes drifted over the two other men, and she bit her lip. Both of their mouths were wide open. 

"Get. Down." He seethed. She smirked and lifted her eyes to the sky quickly before turing her gaze back to him. 

"No. I don't think so." She smiled down at him as his face turned into a snarl. "Someone has quite the temper." She mocked and batted her eyelashes at him. 

"You wanna do this the hard way then?" She smirked even when his fingers wrapped around a black bar. 

"Nope." She swung her foot over the edge and jumped off. But a force hit her so hard in the chest, she flew over the side and landed on her back, in the gravel, directly in front of the men. Her eyes were tightly closed when she groaned. She opened her eyes slowly and looked straight into the dark eyes of the man directly above her. "Seriously," she choked out, "it looks unbelievably stupid." She acted afraid when he grabbed the collar of her black sweatshirt. His angry eyes bore into her "frightened" ones.

"Logan." The man on his right hissed. His gaze never left hers. "Charles wants her alive." He glanced at the man next to him for half a second. She took this as her moment to kick him hard. Right where the sun don't shine. He grunted and dropped her, hand instinctively reaching down to grasp the wounded area.

She sprinted away toward the back ofhe campus. If she could just get enough momentum to jump up to the ledge of the wall-- Oh, the wind felt amazing as it brushed her hair out of her face. It felt so good as it grasped weakly at her, trying to pull her to a stop, but barely missing. As it loudly whispered into her ears as it lost its grip on her. As she slid through its slim fingers, gracefully. As it--

Her thoughts came to a halt as a body barreled into her side. She instinctivly wrapped her arms around the body that had barreled directly into her side. Her hands fisted in the person's shirt. Her head hid itself in the crook of this person's neck. Her eyes snapped close as they flew for a few seconds. Thankfully, the other person's back had hit the ground before hers when gravity finally decided to pull them back into his hands. 

They continued to roll until she was underneath the person. Her eyes were still glued shut with sporadic breathing and fists full with the fabric of the other person's shirt. As her breathing slowed, she opened her eyes and drew a blank as she looked into the dark eyes of the man who had grabbed her collar just moments before. She swallowed thickly and averted her eyes from his penetrating gaze. "Not so cocky now, are ya?" His breath fanned her face as the words barely left his lips. Her eyes snapped to his and narrowed.

"Don't give yourself the credit." She snapped at him. But, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't leave his grip as he was still on top of her. She rose an eye at him and smirked, mustering up as much seductiveness as possible. "You're the one on top of me, remember?" Her lips were close to his ears before she dropped back onto the ground and released her grip on his shirt. Her lips returned to a frown as her expression quickly turned bored. 

He was scrambling off of her in half a second. But, before she could make another break away, he picked her up by her waist and flipped her over his shoulder. She grunted as the wind was knocked out of her. 

She sighed resolutely. "Logan." Oh, she knew this voice. It was the same one that had just recently lectured the man holding her. "Charles would not enjoy us man-handling her." He groaned as his gaze turned to her, but, in all honesty, his gray rimmed glasses only turned toward her, plus, she couldn't see his eyes behind the "thing", so how was she supposed to know he wasn't looking in some other direction? "I'm Scott." He threw his thumb back and pointed at the man behind him. [Y/N] recognized him as the other guy who had been silent when she first met the three of them. Encounter is a better word. "That's Hank." She nodded with lack of interest in her hard gaze. She stiffled a yawn as he pointed at the man holding her. "That insensible man is Logan." He seemed to glare daggers into the man's back. The man holding her-- Logan...... stiffened slightly as his named passed.....Scott's........lips almost like it was a bitter taste in his mouth and he just needed to spit it out. 

Hank snorted and put his knuckle in front of his mouth to keep from breaking out in fits of laughter. [Y/N]'s eyes darted to said man and raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking for an explanation. "They're always arguing because Logan made the mistake of "accidentally" stealing Jean from Scott. And it's hilarious to listen and watch as all of their trivial agruments end with them huffing and puffing about being the better man for Jean, even though she doesn't care for either of them anymore." Both men snapped their heads to Hank, resulting in a groaning [Y/N] who could no longer see her most tolerable companion of the three. He's funny. 

The three of them were in a heated argument that ended with Logan and Scott arguing about some Jean woman, and Hank laughing in the background. [Y/N] smirked at Hank's correct prediction. 

~~*~~*~~*~~

[Y/N] had actually fallen asleep through the corse of that agrument. She woke up when there was only the sound of grass bending under someones's feet. And she was still on Logan's shoulder. She yawned and opened her eyes. They were still outside, and the sun was beginning to set. How long had they been out? "May you put me down, now?" She groaned as he stiffened underneath her. But he obliged and placed her down on her feet in front of him. "Thanks." She mummbled. He looked up and continued walking toward the building. She stiffled another yawn and followed him towards the gloomy building of the school. 

Her heart stopped when they entered the building. Kids walked around the halls, not with smiles, but with content looks on their faces. They had a home here. Even in this dark and cold building, they still found love and a family in this large building that faintly reminded her of the Asgardian castle. 

Her fists clenched at her sides, and a fervent anger spread from her toes all the way to the tips of her hair. How could they find love and a family in this crappy place.

It was misery or anger. She would always choose anger over misery. Even if the misery was underlinning the anger that grew huge in her--

His smile brought her right back down to reality. Her nails bit into her palms. His face screamed kindness. And that pissed her off. All because she knew this man was the reason the kids at this school found it home. 

She schooled her expression to one filled with lack of interest. "Your mind is very difficult to find." His kind eyes bore into hers. It was then that she noticed he was in a wheelchair. 

"I don't willingly let people in." She hissed. Logan's hand wrapped around her bicep in a wight hold, warning her to stay neutral.

The man in the wheelchair smiled. "You have quite the potential with that energy twisting around just your fingers." His eyes fell to her arm in Logan's grasp. "Logan, let our guest go. As Scott had said earlier, you don't need to "man- handle" her."

"But--"

"Logan." Logan hesitantly let go of [Y/N]'s arm. She ripped the remainder of her arm out of his retreating fingers. She glared up at Logan for a few seconds, but quickly turned her gaze down to the man in the wheelchair. "Charles." His hand waited patiently betwwen them. Her hand hesitantly went forward and grasped his in hers for a quick shake.

"[Y/N]." His smile was wide, but her eyebrows were furrowed and a frown was set firmly on her lips. She felt him reach for her mind, and she immediately let go of his soft but firm hand. "Stop." Energy curled around her and made the three other men flinch in their positions beside her. "Don't try to get in my head." She hissed. He smiled sadly up at her. She knew that look of pity. THe one everyone gave her. Her eyes drifted away from his and landed on a woman who was standing on the opposite side of the hallway. "Who is she." Her words spilled from her lips quicker than she would have liked. 

"Raven." Charles smiled widely and moved toward her. Said woman gave him a half smile in return and greeted him quietly. Her gaze slid to [Y/N] and lingered on her. "That, my dear, is [Y/N]. The newest addition to the X-Men." [Y/N] flinched at those words and stepped back slightly, but her back hit Hank's stomach. His arm reached down and rested on her bicep to catch her before she fell. Her head snapped up to look into his eyes. In a blink, the panic in her eyes was gone. Granted, he didn't see any of the panic anyway. 

She pushed her way through the three men so she could get outside. Is it just me, or is it really hot in here? Panic was growing in her chest. She needed to get out of there. Her breathing was beginning to quicken as she made her way out the door. She wobbled on her feet as she made her way to the gate of the campus. "Hey," [Y/N] flinched as Logan's frim grip circled around her bicep, again, "where are you going? You can't just leave." Her [E/C] eyes darted between his dark ones. 

"I can't." She ripped her arm out of his grasp and sprinted to the gate. Her heart pounded in her ears, making it impossible for her to hear their shouts for her to come back. She also missed Charles telling Raven to follow her. 

Her feet thudded against the ground. I gotta get out of here." Her arms grasped the cool metal of the gate and she hauled herself up. She climbed over and jumped down from the top of the gate. Her feet hit the concrete hard, but she didn't care. The second the tip of her shoe hit the ground, she was in a sprint to get as far away as she could, as fast as she could. She ran and ran and ran until her legs gave out and she was sitting in the middle of nowhere with trees surrounding her and only the sound of her breath reaching her ears.


	7. Chapter 6

~*~*~Loki~*~*~

Traveling galaxy after galaxy takes a toll on you; even if Loki is a god. He's traveled the universe for the last three years, and he can't tell if he likes it. Yeah, adrenaline courses through his veins, but is it all worth it. He can't tell if giving up his palace life was worth it. 

Loki sits in the pilot seat of his ship. His hand rests lazily against his lips as he gazes out of the large windshield. He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest with a deep sigh. "Where to next?" His quiet voice echoes loudly in the silent ship. 

He had made sure to grab the smallest ship he could before he left Asgard. He knew a big ship wouldn't have done him any good. Especially if he had someone following him. Plus, the ship is cozy. Not too large to make him feel small. There's a small cot in the back corner next to a mini-fridge that holds canned foods and air tight bags with water. A large table is covered in maps, charts, and blueprints. Covering the mess of papers, there are multiple pieces of iron, vials filled with blue plasma, and other "rubbish". Among the pieces of garbage is a gun in the works of making. Part of the muzzle is formed, but the trigger isn't close to being finished. A plasma cartridge lays loosely closed next to the slightly formed trigger. 

A bathroom is concealed behind an automatic door next to the mini-fridge. Clothes are strewn recklessly around the small ship. They present the look of a lived in ship. The musky scent proves the inhabitant is a male. But Loki knows he must clean those clothes soon. And it smells like him, so he should really clean everything soon.

Loki's green eyes look out the window blankly. The ship is dark and cold. It leaves goosebumps on his bare arms. Which reminds him about the sickening look that covers his skin. He stands quickly and grabs a sweatshirt to pull over him. He grabs an elastic and ties his hair into a tight bun on the back of his head. He rolls his shoulders before plopping back down in the pilot chair. His green eyes scan the walls for the clock. 02:47. He groans, running a hand down his face before jumping up and stretching. He walks to the large table and leans against it. His arms hold most of his weight as he looks over his maps. He pushes a few pieces of equipment before grabbing a piece of paper and sitting with his back against the table. 

His star charts tell him each star and planet he's been to. A red mark decorates most of the stars while a blue mark covers only half of the planets on the page. 

His eyes run across the page, looking for a suitable place to venture to next. They stop over the blue dot that covers Earth. "Earth is always quite the fun adventure. Plus the inhabitants aren't all uncivilized." He walks over to the control panel and punches in the coordinates for Earth. He takes one last look out the window before climbing under the cold covers of his little cot. 

****************************

Loki sits up straight. His heart pounds in his chest, and his erratic breathing echoes throughout the ship. Sweat drips down the sides of his face and his forehead. He rips the covers off of him and sprints to the bathroom before leaning over the toilet and emptying the contents of his stomach. Once everything is gone, he leans back and runs a shaky hand through his messy hair. His eys slide closed. His throat burns with stomach acid and dehydration. His shaky legs lift him hesitantly towards the sink. His arms shake as he holds his weight against the sink. He turns the faucet on and splashes cool water on his face before gulping as much as he can down. He reaches weakly at the towel hanging next to the sink. (A.N.: I don't really know how plumbing works in space but just go with it, ok? [:) 

"They're dead, kid." His eyes starred down at his, mother, father, brother, and a blurry-faced woman. Their bodies were covered in blood. The gashes and wounds that marred the unknown woman's skin seemed to be more prominent than the ones on his family. "Do you know who did it?" His tear filled eyes lifted to meet the strong man's gaze, but the man was looking at the bodies with furrowed brows and a deep frown set on his lips. "You." The man's eyes snapped up to the boy's. The boy looked down at his blood stained hands and the broken dagger that was clutched in his right hand. His heart pounded in his ears as he stumbled back. His feet tripped and he fell on a body behind him. He knew he was hyperventilating, but he couldn't stop it. "You did this, kid. And now you're going to pay." The man's mallet came swinging towards him.

Loki leans over the toilet and, whatever is left in his stomach, heaves its way out. His shaking hands clutch the side of his toilet as more of his stomach acid exits his body. 

He blindly reaches for the small shaving knife on the counter of the sink. His shaking hands grasp at the blade weakly. "Maybe this will get these nightmares out of my head." The edge of the blade runs across his pale skin as he draws a red line on the inside of his wrist. 

Loki's breath catches in his throat as a face forms itself on the woman's face. [Y/N]. Then, he remembers the broken dagger and the missing piece that he saw lodged in her neck. 

Another dark red line marks his skin. The skin on his arm slowly releases its hold on the blade as the drags it out. 

His mother, lying dead at his feet. A look of disappointment trapped in her eyes. Her fair skin bloodstained. Her beautiful hair a mess around her head. 

The blade ripped at the skin of his forearm. His breath shallow as the light around him fights to stay bright.

His father's ever disapproving frown. He knew this was coming. His eye-patch lost in the red of blood. 

Had he forgotten to turn the light on? His heartbeat stays even as his thoughts run rampant.

His brother. The betrayal that was barely visible in the crosses of his forehead. His hand barely holding on to Mjölnir. 

A tear runs down his face in escape as the darkness clutches at the lids of his eyes, begging him to follow it. 

************************

A loud bang awakes Loki. He sits upright, but nearly falls back over when a pounding headache greets him full force. His hand grasps at the side of his head. He groans and stands. 

His breathing is rapid as he looks down at the blood staining the bathroom floor. He glances at his wrists and curses the gods as he runs his arms under the water coming from the faucet. The dried blood resists the warm current splashing against it. He drew his nails gently against it, but hissed when his nail nicked one of the cuts.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. Open up." He jumps as the deep voice brings him back to reality. He turns the faucet off and bandages his wrists before quickly pulling on an oversized sweater and walking to the main entrance of the space ship. He plastered on a malicious smirk and opened the door wide. 

"And who do I owe the magnificent honor of barging up to my home at," he checks his watch, "three in the morning?" I thought I had gotten more sleep than that. 

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent's frown falters as he looks Loki up and down. "Um. I—I need you t-to come down to hea-headquarters with m-me?" The agents voice wavers as the looks anywhere but Loki.

"No." Loki's smirk grows as the agent's fear grows. He stutters and looks away again.

"Dear God, Agent. Grow some balls would ya?" A woman places a hand on her hip as she groans into the dark. "Loki Laufeyson, you have no choice but to come with us. Unless you want that nasty little ship of yours burned at the stake." Loki smirks at the woman and leaned against the frame of the door. 

"No." She rolls her eyes. She pulls a taser from the waistband of her dark blue jeans and pulls the trigger when the muzzle is pointed at him. Loki jumps slightly as a buzz of electricity runs through him. Then, a grin placed itself on his thin lips. "No." She sighs and grabs a special gun out of its holster on the other agent's hip. 

"Yes." Two silent shots hit Loki in the arm and leg. He stumbles backward with his eyebrows furrowed and a strained look on his face. "Call the jet, agent." The younger agent nods quickly and talks quickly into the walky-talky in his hand. 

She walks into the ship and cuffs Loki. "Let's go, princess." She grabs his collar and yanks him up. Pain shoots through his leg as she drags him off the ship. "Agent." She barks into the silent air. The young agent jumps and follows them. 

"Agent Zecora?" She hums in response. "Why are you not afraid of him?" She steals a glance at the tall man limping next to her.

"He's all bark and no bite." She smirks at the anger that flashes over his face. "He's been here before. We go way back, don't we, Laufeyson?" Loki stiffens and throws a disappointed look at Agent Zecora.

"Oh." The younger agent quietly says in response. 

Silence soon covers the three as they make their way to the jet. Twigs crack under their feet while leaves crinkle with the soft wind. The agent in the back awkwardly walks right behind Agent Zecora and Loki, making Loki want to turn around and strangle the boy. He would, he really would. "Let me strangle that boy." Agent Zecora snorts and disturbs the silence around them. The younger agent jumps back slightly, and Loki stares ahead with a murderous look on his face. The younger agent quickly catches pace with them and stands directly behind the two, again. 

"Move, child." Loki hisses. The young agent scampers next to Agent Zecora with a shriek. "Thank you." Loki rolls his shoulders and unclenches his fists. Agent Zecora chuckles lightly and leaves the smile on her face even when they approach the jet. 

She shoves Loki in then lets the young agent in before climbing into the jet herself. She buckled herself before realizing Loki can't buckle himself in. She unhooks herself with a groan and clips Loki in. She sits back down with a huff and buckled herself in. "Headquarters." She barks at the pilot. 

Loki nearly falls asleep as they slowly make their way to HQ. He almost does when the jet harshly lands on the roof of some big gray building. He groans and waits for the female agent to unbuckle him before he hops off the jet and follows the two agents into headquarters. He could've ran right there, he knows that, but he's too tired right now, and he hasn't seen the female agent in a long time. He won't admit it, but he has missed her.

Agent Zecora orders the younger agent to leave before dragging Loki into a closet. She unhooks his cuffs before planting her lips on his. His eyes snap closed as his hands settle on her waist. She grips onto the the back of his neck before slowly dragging her hands down to his chest. 

"I've missed you." She says once his lips leave hers. She places her forehead against his and leaves her hands on his chest. 

"I've missed you too." He smiles down at her and pulls her hips closer to him. "I wish I had come back sooner, but you know how the Nova Corps is." He smirks and kisses her. She sighs into the kiss and pushes his back up against the closet wall. She runs her hands down his stomach before letting go of his lips.

"I wish you didn't have to leave so soon. What if I came with you?" A glimmer of hope sparked in her dark eyes. He smiled sadly down at her. He runs his long fingers through her dark hair before resting his hand on her cheek. 

"You can't, Darling. We've talked about this. You have a life here; I don't. I would never belong here." She sighs and lays her head against his chest. 

"I know." She hugs him tight before putting the cuffs back on his wrist and pulling him out of the closet. "I'm sorry I shot you by the way." He smirks and chuckles slightly.

"It didn't hurt, really." She snorts and pulls him over to Fury's office.

She knocks on the door and pushes Loki inside once the "come in" is given. She closes the door before heading back to her room. 

"Laufeyson, welcome back to Earth." Fury smiles a pained smile as he turns to face Loki. 

"The pleasure is all mine." Loki smirks before holding his cuffs hands out to Fury. "When will you take these off." Fury glares at him and points to a seat in front of his desk.

"Sit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed it hahah XD. I realized I published the same chapter twice.


	8. Chapter 8

~*~[Y/N]~*~

"Charles." Professor Xavier looks up from the mess of papers on his desk. He leans back in his chair and shoots a sympathetic look at Raven. 

Her eyebrow is puffed up to match the swollen and black look of her right eye. A deep wound cuts through her cheek, but it seems to be healing. His eyes rake down to the large tear in the sleeve of her her shirt. A dark black-red line decorates the skin under this tear. It drips of blood and soaks the sleeve of her shirt. He scans her stomach and notices her left arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Blood coats her hand and is slowly seeping through her fingers. 

His blue eyes jump to her face. "Raven." Her eyes snap up to meet his sharp gaze. "Move your hand." Her eyes widen slightly, but she still slowly removes her hand from her waist with a short grunt of pain. Xavier's eyebrows crinkle together as blood oozes onto the dark wood floor. He quickly wheels his way over to Raven and places a towel against her deep wound. 

Raven's ears buzz as she loses more and more blood. The room around her spins as she rocks back and forth. "Charles, I need to sit." The professor nods quickly and guides her to a chair. His expression of worry causes her to try and continue to breath correctly. He's never this worried. She crumples into the chair and holds the towel tightly against her waist. Blood changes the white of the towel to a dark pink. "Logan needs to get her, Charles." Her voice comes nearly as a grunt as her rapid breathing brings her closer to unconsciousness. 

"Alright." The world around Raven quickly faded and Xavier calls Jean Grey to come and stitch up Raven. 

*****************************

Logan angrily trudges through the dense woods in search of [Y/N]. He mutters curses under his breath as he shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. 

The cool autumn air nips ferociously at his cheeks. "Stupid girl. I couldn't care less about finding you. What does Xavier want with you anyway?" He grumbles. 

The dead leaves crunch under his boots as he stomps through the wood. His steps stop short as he notices splotches of blood that mark a path towards a small hut with smoke coming from its chimney. He slowly steps towards the hut and pulls his hands from his pockets. His claws slide easily through the skin of his knuckles. 

His ears pick up nothing but the sound of the leaves swaying and his quiet breaths—wait. who's breathing is that? He pushes the door of the small cottage and sneaks quietly in. He stops short when he sees a young woman sleeping on her side on a little cot. 

Her breathing is uneven and her brows crinkled together. Sweat coats her brow and drips onto her nose. She tosses and turns before bolting uptight and holds a short dagger towards Logan. Her chest heaves up and down, and sweat coats the front of her long-sleeved shirt. 

He frowns sadly as his eyes meet her wide gaze. Her eyebrows are crinkled together, and the fear in her eyes blazes with mistrust. But he still readies his stance and waits for her to attack him first. 

[Y/N]'s eyes blur with dizziness as she points her blade shakily at Logan. Her ears buzz, and she feels like she is floating. She's cold. But sweat drips off her brow and onto her already soaked sleeve. A drop of sweat falls on her nose and makes her flinch. He voice echoes as barely a whimper. "Ju—just le—leave me." Her knees buckle, and she falls over, gripping the side of her cot tightly when she hits the floor with a loud thud. Her mind buzzes and her fingers shake. She rips the light blanket off of the cot and wraps it tightly around her shoulders. 

Logan stumbles as a searing pain shoots through his head. "Agghhh!" He grips his head and falls into the wall. A buzzing zips through the air like a knife through butter. Buzzing prevents his hearing, but he looks at the young woman and sees waves of something floating off of her. He snaps his eyes shut in pain and slides down the wall.

But then it all disappears. Logan's hands fall slowly from his head as he opens his eyes. He looks over at the woman and sees her motionless on the dirt flooring. 

The silence is deafening as he walks over to the young woman; his breath barely audible as his eyes dart across the room. Sweat drips down the sides of his face and onto the floor. It's so hot in here. He groans.

His sharp claws retract themselves as he places two fingers to the pulse point on her neck. Still alive. He places his wrist on her forehead and nearly jumps back as heat radiates off of her. 

He mumbles in annoyance as he lifts her body up and holds her bridal style. He marches out or the small hut and takes her back to Xavier's school.

He shoves the door open with his shoulder and glares at the children that jump back startled. He stomps over to Xavier's office and shoves his way through the sturdy doors. "Charles." Charles looks up without any sign of surprise.

"Logan." He nods at the burly man before leaning back in his chair. "Why haven't you taken her down to Jean?" He wheels over to Logan and places his wrist on the woman's forehead. His eyes snap up to Logan. 

"Fine." Logan growls before going down to Jean's office. 

************

"Charles." Logan enters Xavier's office quietly. Xavier looks up and nods at Logan.

"Logan." Xavier wheels himself towards Logan. "Are you alright?" Logan nods and turns away. 

"Somethin's wring with her, Charles." Xavier nods and wheels towards a window. 

"She is," Charles furrows his brows and looks at Logan over his shoulder, "a special case, Logan." 

"Special how?" Logan is quick to reply but doesn't take in account the harshness of his words. Charles grimaces slightly and turns the wheel chair around to face Logan.

"She's not from here." Charles keeps his voice level and looks Logan in the eyes with a serious expression. "But she's ........... different where she's from as well." Logan's brows furrow, and he looks out the window. "Go shower, Logan. You smell." Logan smirks and walks out of Xavier's office and towards his own room. 

****************

[Y/N] jolts awakes, but straps keep her down on the bed she seems to be on. She struggles with the straps and groans as her head begins to pound. She lays back down and closes her eyes. 

Her heartbeat pounds rapidly, and her steady breath does nothing to fix it. The ringing in her ears makes the pounding in her head seem unbearably loud. 

The door opens, and [Y/N] all but nearly screams at the sudden change in sound. She struggles tirelessly against the restraints. "Woah, woah, woah. It's okay. You're fine." A woman with red hair jogs over to [Y/N] and places her hand on her arm. [Y/N] jumps and tries to yank her hand away from the woman's hand. 

Jean's hand wraps effortlessly around [Y/N]'s wrist. But she definitely is not ready for the onslaught of memories and pain. Jean immediately lets go of her wrist and nearly jumps back a few feet. Her heart pounds in her ears and her breathing is rapid. 

"Let me out." [Y/N] groans and struggles against the restraints again. The clanking of the handcuffs on the metal railing echoes in the small space. 

Jean examines the young woman slowly. Her eyebrows are furrowed as she hesitantly steps forward.

"What are you?" Jean mutters. [Y/N] looks away shamefully but covers her emotions with a deep hatred. 

"Someone you do not want to mess with. Now, let. Me. Out." [Y/N] rips her arm out of the strap and quickly undos the other strap before spinning and kicking Jean in the head. She falls to the ground unconscious. "Thanks." She growls and grabs a syringe form the woman's lab coat pocket. She runs swiftly through the crowed halls and nearly makes it to the door before a large hand wraps around her wrist. She spins around and slams the—what she hopes is—sedative syringe into the person's neck. He yells out in pain, releases her wrist, and grips the side of his neck before falling on the ground unconscious. 

[Y/N] tosses the syringe on the ground and exits the building. 

A sharp pain embeds itself in her stomach before she even registers the bang of a gun. Her feet lose balance, and she stumbles back into the hard wood of the door. 

Her hands clutch at her stomach and a large gasp escapes her tightly closed lips. The spinning world slowly slows in front of her as her hand glides against the wall. Her knees buckle, and she tumbles slowly to the ground. Her [E/C] eyes look at each face surrounding her. 

Hank watches as the woman topples over on the ground and blood dribbles quickly out of the side of her mouth. Blood coats her palms, and he glances away. "Scott, Charles never said shoot her." He hisses at the man holding the 10 caliber pistol. 

"She's fine." Scott snaps. He stares the woman down and turns away when he feels a change in the atmosphere. A loud ringing makes him cover his ears tightly. He turns to Hank and sees him doing the same thing. 

[Y/N]'s breath quickens, and she grips tirelessly at her stomach to stop the bleeding. She barely even notices the blood dripping from her nose, but the electrical tension in the air causes her to snap her eyes wide open and search the faces of the people around her. The world stops and she screams so loud the ringing in everyone's ears was silent compared to it. 

Tears stream endlessly on her cheeks as she attempts to stand. "I am so so sorry." The world spins back into motion. Everyone is still tightly gripping their ears. She grips the wall with one hand and her stomach with the other. Her legs wobble as she slowly stands.

"[Y/N]." The world stops again. She turns and faces a man in a wheelchair. His brown hair sticks to his sweaty face. His eyes look tired, and his arms shake tiredly as they reach up to grab her hand gripping the wall shakily. "Breathe. You are ok. Everything will be alright. Look at me." Her [E/C] eyes snap up to his tired blue eyes. 

Fear runs deep in her eyes. But he still holds his hand out and grasps hers slowly. He smiles up at her and places a black towel against her stomach. "It's alright." Tears stream down her face. They mix with the blood that stains her checks and lip. But the electrical tension quickly snaps, and everyone removes their hands form their heads. "Come with me." He forgets that she has been shot until he hears a large thud behind him. "Logan." Logan groans and rubs the back of his head before slowly standing up. 

"What?" Logan glowers at Charles and furrows his brows at everyone who is sitting awkwardly on the floor.

"Bring her to my office and stitch her up please." Logan groans and throws the unconscious woman over his shoulder before trudging into Xavier's office. He carefully lowers the woman onto a chair, but stops short when he sees how distressed her face seems. He places her on the chair and pushes the strands of hair in her face behind her ear. He jumps away from her when her eyes flutter open. He groans when his back hits the corner of Xavier's desk. But he slowly walks over to her and lifts the bottom of her shirt. She smacks his hand quickly and tugs the bottom of her shirt down before groaning and leaning her head back on her chair. 

Charles watches in amusement as Logan's face morphs into confusion. He glances hopelessly at Charles. Xavier smirks and rolls over to the two. He gently pushes Logan aside and lifts a side of [Y/N]'s shirt. She clasps his hand in hers quickly and attempts to pry it off. "It's alright. There's too much blood to see anything anyways." She nods hesitantly, and he grabs stitching needles and thread and quickly stitches up the bullet wound after pulling out the bullet. He pulls her shirt down and wipes his hands on a towel before wheeling back behind his desk. Logan throws concerned glances between the two before hoping up. He steels his expression and glares at Charles.

"I'm going to take a shower." He snaps and heads toward the door.

"She's going to need your help to escort her to her room, Logan." Logan's hand freezes above the handle. He mutters incoherently under his breath. Is he serious. She's such a pain. He groans and looks over his shoulder to glare angrily at Charles. 

"Please." Logan sighs and folds his arms over his chest before leaning against the door. "Thank you. Now, Ms. Gunnarsen—" [Y/N]'s gaze snaps to Charles. Fear crosses her expression. 

Logan watches silently as her entire body tenses at the mention of her last name. His own hands grip tighter onto his arms at her small gesture. To the untrained eye, she wouldn't have even moved, but to Logan and Charles, it was an easy spot. 

Charles watches closely as she schools her expression and finishes his conversation. "You may stay with us as long as you will, but on one condition." Her eyes dart around the room. Nerves hide themselves in her eyes but peek out here and there. "You must let us teach you how to use your gift." [Y/N]'s lips lift into a wicked grin.

"You think this is a gift?" Charles looks startled, and Logan is starting to become infuriated. At their confused expressions, she laughs a humorless laugh. "HA! You must be kidding!" The wide grin slowly turns into a frown. "This is no gift." 

Logan bites the inside of his cheek harshly and tastes the bitter metallic taste of blood in his mouth. That little—

"No." Xavier's eyes slowly soften. Sadness fills them. He has never been good at hiding his feelings. This he knows when Logan doesn't meet his gaze. "I won't stay. You've kidnapped me, hurt me, and now you expect me to come willingly to live with you?" Charles and Logan look away from the woman. "You've got to be kidding." She laughs. 

They can't be serious! "I'm leaving. And don't you dare let any of your men lay their filthy hands on me, or I'll kill them." Charles frowns.

Hatred burns bright in her eyes when Logan takes a quick glance in her direction. He sighs and leans against the door to block her exit. "You can't leave." He groans and turns a bored expression toward Charles. Xavier nods. "This place will help you." Charles sends a glare his way when Logan says the phrase with as much venom as possible. "What? At least I'm trying." He growls and turns back to the woman. "Look, kid—"

"Don't call me 'kid'." She snarls. Her body is pressed up against his and a knife pinches the skin of his throat but not enough to draw blood. "I'll slit your throat right here right now. Don't call me kid. Ever." He raises a brow at her.

"Kid." He smiles nastily down at her as the words slip passed his lips menacingly. She reacts quicker than he thought she would and manages to make a clean cut across his throat. "Oh, sorry, kid. Forgot to mention: I don't die." She growls a curse at him and shoves her knife deep in his stomach. He spits up blood that quickly covers part of her face.

"I'm leaving. And you better not stop me." She whispers lowly into his ear. She rips her dagger out of his stomach and sprints out of the door. 

Her footsteps echo in the empty halls. Her breath seems to be like thunder in the silence of everything around her. The heartbeat pounding against her rib cage threatens to break them and escape into the walls of the school. 

Logan forced himself and sprints out of the same door. He chases and chases her. His hand grazes her ar—

*BANG*

**Author's Note:**

> What do ya think? I have this also on wattpad with a few more chapters updated but this will soon be my main format for updating and writing. Let me know what you think?


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